Mess with Me by Nicole Helm

Author:Nicole Helm [Helm, Nicole]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-08-28T18:30:00+00:00

Chapter Sixteen

Sam paced. First he paced the small interior of his cabin, but it wasn’t enough room to work out all the restless energy inside of him. So he went outside.

The sun was setting in the trees and usually that made him feel better about life. A cool summer’s night, a pretty sunset, the knowledge that this, up here alone, was his life and his domain.

But, of course, today it only reminded him of Hayley. He’d never even watched the sunset with her, but something about the vibrant orange, which matched the stretchy shirt she wore, and the way the sun’s evening rays glinted off the trees and rocks, gilding everything gold, reminded him of her eyes.

When he thought about her eyes, he thought about that expression in them this afternoon. How she’d walked into the Evans brothers’ lair of sorts and faced them with a vulnerable kind of confidence that ate at him.

He’d been in awe of her. For some crazy, blinding second he’d wondered what it would be like to go home. To show up at his parents’ door and say, Hi, I want to be a part of this again.

But that thought had only lasted a second. He didn’t want to be part of the world that was a constant reminder of what he’d done.

And his parents had made it quite clear that they didn’t want him there.

That was the problem with Hayley. She made him think about all this stuff. The complexities in his life that he had so carefully ignored. Possibly worst of all, she made him consider the meaning of forgiveness.

He turned to face the path that led to where she usually parked her car. Ever since Lilly had convinced him to leave Mile High this afternoon, he had been listening for the sound of someone driving her up the mountain, and the subsequent putter of her car’s engine driving away.

He could’ve missed it when he’d been drying out the tents or using the power tools to reattach a loose solar panel. He could have missed it when he’d taken a shower to try to clear his head.

He’d promised himself he wouldn’t check. Lilly had been right. He had had no business being there, listening to their conversation. Hayley certainly didn’t need to rehash her conversation with Brandon and Will with him. He was trying to create distance, not make them best friends or some bullshit.

His curiosity was killing him slowly. It was an inclination he’d mostly gotten over. He’d tamped down any and all curiosity, focusing only on avoiding his own pain.

Why did Hayley bring all of those old feelings back into his life? When feeling could only end with . . .

Something cold and uncomfortable settled in his chest. Hayley could be around for the next twenty years, reminding him of all the ways he used to be, the way life could be good and bright and warm, and he still wouldn’t be able to take that step back into it.

Because he’d been a selfish bastard, and that he could deal with.

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